Will your marriage survive your mate’s infidelity? At this point you are the only one who can answer that. Why is it up to you? Because your two timing mate is adamant that they want to stay married. They admit that what they did was wrong and have asked that you forgive them. They promise to do whatever is necessary to restore the marriage.
Whether you will or will not remain to be seen but there are a few points to keep in mind.
1. Do not Be afraid
The future can be scary. Especially if you have been in a marital relationship for quite a while and then decide to go it alone. Don’t let fear of the unknown influence your decision. Being married for any amount of time should not mean one person becomes completely dependent on the other spouse. If you want to end the marriage then do it. You may be a little shaky in the beginning but eventually you will learn how to be self sufficient. Better to have a short lived rough learning experience that remain with someone that you feel that you can never trust again.
2. Do Not Give In
Just in case you decide to remain in the relationship then establish some guidelines and stick to them. Do not let the fact that your spouse may get an attitude over these guidelines intimidate you. But the hard cold truth is they must make radical lifestyle modifications before you can even think about trusting them again.. There are going to be times when their effort is not what it should be. There may also be occasions when they do their best to manipulate the situation and talk you out of it or flat out try to take control. No matter which way it goes you have to hold your ground.
3. Be Realistic
Your recovery from unfaithfulness may take quite some time so do not let your impatience overwhelm you. Certainly you want the negative images and depressing thoughts to go away. You also want the fear that comes up every time your mate is out of sight to disappear. They will eventually but right now you must accept the fact that the road ahead is long and difficult.
4. Encourage Them
When you see your mate making a determined and sustained effort in fixing the marriage and earn your trust back then by all means cheer them on. Try to rekindle the romance by doing things like having date nights. From time to time let them know through words and actions just how much you still love them. Acting like some kind of overseer as your mate goes through the process of changing their ways is not going to give them any real incentive to keep doing it.
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